Sports

‘Tall Gulp’ vs. ‘Bayou Bastard’? What the hell is this, and why can I not waste staring at?

“This video can’t be valid, correct?”

That’s the glorious I component that saved going thru my head as I watched the above clip, promoting this weekend’s “SlapFIGHT: Titans Conflict” match. Somebody who goes by the title “Tall Gulp,” supposedly a retired MMA fighter and Brazilian jiu-jitsu practitioner (Editor’s uncover: uncertain), is main off the card in opposition to “Bayou Bastard” in a slapping contest billed as a “Superfan Showdown.”

What. The. F-ck.

I saved awaiting the punchline to be delivered. I assumed that presumably this was once some skit save collectively for a spread uncover – presumably a custom as much as Key & Peele’s legendary “Final Combating Goes to the Next Stage” or “Boxing Press Convention.”

But no, right here is on occasion an match happening this weekend, fixed with the video’s description:

Press Occasion to relate our thirteenth SlapFIGHT Occasion, ‘TITANS CLASH.’ This video presser from an undisclosed role involves all of your well-liked American Slap Fighters in face offs with their August 27th opponents. Don’t omit this unbelievable Underground Occasion, LIVE on FITE!

That’s correct. For the low, low imprint of factual $9.99, you, too, can change into a portion of this SlapFIGHT world. Right here’s more recordsdata, order from their press release:

The Co-Predominant is a Mountainous Heavyweight title fight between Hardcore Hillbilly and Solid Slug. Three Heavyweight Feature Fights will search for The Crow vs. Frank the Tank, Young James vs. Coach Killa and The Italian Bloodbath vs Toddler Ray. The over-the-high Undercard has a Lightweight Feature Fight between The Guardian and BezerkD.

An susceptible martial art is known as shimudo? A various customer presentation mannequin who factual occurs to be a slapfight champion? Walkout tune by Lucid Parradoxx? Visitor commentary from some dude named Charlie?

I’ll tell it but again: What. The. F-ck.

But by the time headliner “Darius the Destroyer” showed up slapping the sh-t out of oldsters earlier than his rematch with “Wolverine,” I realized I had factual watched this total – and entirely ridiculous – promo video.

“There’s one thing about this wild sport and its great larger than life personalities that is effectively grabbing Individuals,” FITE CMO Kim Hurwitz acknowledged.

I’m not particular exactly what that claims about us as a country, however I accept as true with I’m about to search out out what occurs if I are attempting so to add a SlapFIGHT pay-per-scrutinize fee to my next expense file.

The Blue Nook is MMA Junkie’s blog condo. We don’t retract it overly serious, and neither might presumably perhaps well also aloof you. As soon as you come complaining to us that one thing you read right here isn’t difficult-hitting news, search recordsdata from to accept as true with the previous sentence repeated in ALL CAPS.

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